Can a twin flame runner be happy in a karmic relationship?
07.06.2025 09:52
I started dating perhaps to forget my twin, to love again to put my heart out in the open to take the risk. Who I my kidding? when you are a soul you work on connection/vibration. It doesn’t matter if you are the king if you don’t have the connection its not worth the effort, you are someone else king. So I leave it be. Love will find me when I am ready.
Throughout my travels my twin was guiding me, he was taking me to where he wanted to go with his ex before they broke up. He was going to propose to her. I was doing the healing for him. The reason why I was consumed by him, his essence was always present.
I did not have such a childhood after my father died, I had to fend for my self, I was made to look after my siblings from such a young age. I meet my ex when I was 20. I devoted most of my whole life to my children and ex. Now that my children are grownup, my ex had fully let me go, I found my voice as well as my self, I my ready for this type of relationship?
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The answers to your question , I was running because I could not accept the love I felt from or for my twin energetically nor I want to change my life. I had a good life with my ex and I have everything I needed. All I wanted was to forget this person who I barely knew so I left, I went to my native country. I needed to reset my life from all the confusion I felt inside. (I am lucky my children are all grown up.) Did I forget ?? No it brought me closer to him or rather closer to my soul. I couldn’t understand why he was in my thoughts from the moment I wake up and by the time I go to bed. All I wanted at that time was to get my loving feeling back for my ex. I never been away from him at that length of time. 6 months to be exact. My ex hardly cross my mind because my thoughts was consumed by the other half of my soul, it was my soul that I missed.
I ignored that idea, surely there is no such thing as Twin soul but the universe had another plans for me. On the night before my flight home. I stayed in the hotel near the airport. It was my last night so I went to have few drinks and watch the sun setting on the roof top. I wanted to write to my ex and tell him about my travels but somehow I started writing to my twin. There was a sudden urge of emotions coming up as if I needed to explain my self to my twin. I was writing so fast as if someone else was writing it for me. There was music on the background which I couldn’t figure what it was. It sounded like a high pitch note being played by angels and its intensity was pulling my heart. I just cried.
Once I made my decision to leave my ex, my twin and I communicated a lot more and we saw each other from time to time in our local gym. We were bonding but he just disappeared and our communication stop so I would send him more emails, begging in desperation. It would takes weeks for him to reply or not at all. This was the beginning of my healing, where I would go for a long walk with my headphones and cry. Where I lock my self in the room looking at my reflection on the mirror and cry. Where I started my journaling and cry. Where I would travel to unknown countries and cry. During this time I encountered many people who are awoke and I realise that there are people who has awareness about the vast universe and soul. I once wrote to my twin “ I know more about your soul that you could possibly imagine.
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Will I be able to let go of my newly found freedom? Is my soul ready?? I my ready to introduce my twin to the world, the man I’ve chosen in exchange of the man whom I once build a life together, the once I thought was my forever? Will my soul introduce me to the world even if to mock him going out with someone who is a little bit older, has children and been through married? Will he be able to let go of his ego and embrace me fully with an open heart knowing I will not be able to provide him a child? Can we both put all the barriers behind us ??
I am not running nor chasing. I Am home and it’s always open for my twin because I choose him still. ❤️
Above all, I know my worth. I could just about choose anyone who ever I like, you attract people of similar vibes but they don’t have your twin eyes/soul which I always look for, and for that reason you can not really move on. I spend most of my time alone. I take my self out, because everywhere I go it seems like I am with my twin. I am never lonely even if I’m alone.
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On top of this, I went back to my childhood upbringing where I lost my father, my birth place. This was the moment when all my memories came flooding back, “ I remember who I am.” I started doing all the things that I love when I was a child. Cliff jumping, swimming , hiking and just being with nature. From the age of seven I had to grow up quickly to look after my brothers.
Knowing what I know now, everything had to happen just the way it did. My ex was my soulmate, my guide. He fulfilled his duty and we raised beautiful children together. Yes I hurt him but it’s for his soul growth and his own evolution. I could say he took my love for granted and neglected me but when you see things in soul perspective there is no mistake just lesson.
There is one quote I love from Rumi: IF ONE DAY YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE WORLD AND THE LOVE, REMEMBER THIS, IF YOU YOU CHOOSE THE WOLRD YOU BE LEFT WITHOUT LOVE BUT IF YOU CHOOSE LOVE, WITH IT YOU CAN CONQUER THE WORLD.
This journey could be an eye opening for some. This is my own experience and from what I read in Quora, everyone’s journey is different and so it should!! everyone are unique.
When I met the other half of my soul I was happily married. I would never imagine a love/pain like this. My life was simple back then when I was ordinary, ignorance is a bliss. I was madly in love with my ex but was it love? it was attachment, I was needy. I was afraid to be alone. Even though we been together for 26 years I would have done anything for him. Until this beautiful soul showed up and stole my heart and showed me what love is not.
The question now is… I my ready ? Truly ready for my twin?
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I hope that answer your question?!
I asked my self if this would be my last incarnation on earth ? Maybe.. because I done all the possible human life could experience in my 46 years of existence. I had to let go of everything including my ego. I told my self I was born poor and if I lost everything I will survive. Now I say, I came with nothing and leave with nothing.
I met my twin when he just came out of 5 years relationship, he was heartbroken. My twin was healing all his trauma when he first introduced himself to me. He was very honest and open about his emotions and feelings. He was learning to nurture his inner child. He said “ you need nurturing too”. I truly believe his soul have been searching for me all along.
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Whilst on my wandering a lot of emotions was surfacing but it wasn’t mine. The song played over and over in my head. “You are the reason” every words in that song made perfect sense. “Here goes my heart beating, Im losing my sleep. I climb the highest mountain and I swim every ocean just to be with you and fix what I broken.” All that feelings was for my twin’s ex, I felt the void in his heart. I made his dream come true. I re-enacted whatever that he felt for her. During this time my heart was overflowing with love. I visited every churches/temples in every island I went. I prayed deeply, I asked for forgiveness and healing. I started giving food to those in needs. I would only eat once a day to compensate. I practice gratitude and kindness. I thanks my ancestors. I was so confused but it felt so good. My vision was getting clearer, I felt stronger. Above all, I felt love by everyone I met. I was alone but it seems like I was never alone, I felt so alive. I had climb the highest mountain in search of waterfalls and I swam everyday go into the deepest part and touch corals and chase fishes. I would go kayaking and just stayed in the middle of the ocean for hours. I chased the sunset.
I wasn’t aware of me being a runner but now it all make sense. I cried for the last two years since my awaking. I thought I reach the highest peak of my journey as matter of fact, I am just getting started. There seems to be more layers to be peel and challenges to overcome. Yes I cried for the last two years, I used to sit by the cafe, park, forest then they’ll be just random tears falling from my eyes. On the early stage of my awakening all I wanted was to take my heart out , hug it tightly and nurture it. I never thought I would make it. But, here I am alive to tell the tale.
I my ready to accept his dark side? Is my twin ready to accept my childlike mentality? Is my twin ready to walk along side me and accept my deep love not just for him but for the people around me. Are we both ready to face the real world and accept every challenges that the world and the divine present us or do we just keep running? Running from ourselves?
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I never done anything outrageous without my ex permission but had an urge to travel around the country as if something was pushing me. My country consists of many islands. I just took off with no plans and no destination. I jumped from one island to another. Sometimes over night on buses and Perries.
Did I know I was on a Twin journey? No, I only found out just before returning. I was very confused of what was happening to me. I thought I had a heart problem because it was constantly palpitating as if I had a hole in my heart. I had it checked up, I cried in front of my doctor and I told him “ there is something wrong with me, I am dying” He took more blood samples and monitored my heart but found nothing. Few days before my flights, I google something like heart palpitations, heartburn. All sort that involves heart. Until I came across heart of chakra, then soul mate then TwinFlame. I didn’t even believe in soul, let alone twin soul. I grew up in a religious community and my grandparents used to tell me about soul but I thought it was just made up to scares me.
When I returned from my wandering, I lost my loving feelings for my ex, we were still married and I had to fulfil my duty and I wanted to continue our marriage. On the first day when my ex and I had sex I cried so hard whilst on top of him as if my heart has been tore apart it was excruciating. My ex said, what was that all about? I just turned around and cried. I couldn’t explain that I felt the pain of my twin heart as if he had lost me. The pain was like I been stab in the heart. There was few more intimate with my ex although I did not felt the heart stabbing, I feel so lonely and I just cried afterwards.
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Since I found my balance and merge with my twin, I finally have more time to reflect on the path I have chosen for my self. I have completely surrendered to the divine knowing that every action I take are being guided by the highest power and I truly believe that my life has been orchestrated long before my time. Therefore, I would like to invite you in to my world and tell you a little secret about TF runner and more !!! 🥰so put your feet up, pour your self a glass of wine/hot cacao and enjoy the read.🤭
I went back to my room but I could not sleep. My heart was in so much pain and my twin was somehow in the background, his name was going around and around in my head, this has given me courage to email him. “I need your help” He was studying psychology at that time and I thought he might be able to help me. He reply back straight away. So I send what I wrote early on. My opening email was “please don’t judge me, I feel like I’m going insane”. I manage to get some sleep. I haven’t had a decent sleep since I been travelling. I wake up each day at around 3am. Either I read or listen to music. I sometimes go out on the beach and wait until the sunrises.
I made a decision to separate and file for divorce. I did not go ahead with divorce just yet because i don’t see it as necessary, it’s a human thing. Same as married, I did not want to marry because in my opinion married is just a piece of paper, it’s what in our heart that matter most. I had to marry, not by choice but I guess it had to happen. To experience the human life.
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My ex and I are good friends. I think deep down he knows we completed our journey together. There was a white cord that tied us together but due to my healing and consistency I manage to cut the white cord. This was done above in one of my astral projection. After the cord cutting I merge with my twin, then my higher self/God.